One of the things that contributes to my anxiety is stress and worry. In my world, one usually doesn’t exist without the other. Sometimes, I even worry about things and for the life of me I cannot figure out why. Most of us worry without any conscious control, almost on auto mode. After yesterday, I finally had to breakdown and had to figure out why I worry. I mediated and prayed on it, did a bit of research including thinking back to my past, and when/where I picked up this trait that often causes me sleepless nights, overthinking periods, and sometimes tears. Here is what I came up with:
- Fear of the unknown; Not knowing the outcome of something or what the future holds.
- The mind sometimes is programmed to think it cannot rest and it needs to be doing something.
- Its becomes a habit or pattern like all the others, it becomes so repetitive that we sometimes don’t recognize it.
- We often do not have control over situations therefore we do not have control over the outcome which causes us to analyze, overthink, and freak out.
Most of these points are common sense but often times we don’t think rationally about these things or often we are reactive. Yet, what I have learned, especially over this past weekend is that by stressing and worrying about everything in my life, I am causing havoc on my mind, body, and spirit. Because I worry, I don’t take care of my body by not working out, not eating right or enough, I cause so much stress on my brain that it causes headaches. My spirit feels defeated and not strong enough to carrying on. I’m distracted from the things at are important or the things that do bring joy to my life. Sleep is very limited or nonexistent so then I’m tired and crabby the next day and its hard to be productive as I know I can be.
So with everything that I received during my “A-HA” moment, I had to really dig down deep within myself and realize that things must change. I thought back to the women and mental health discussion that PYC hosted this past Friday. There were some takeaways that stayed with me and that I promised myself that I am going to apply to my life:
Other peoples situation is not my crisis: I can no longer carry other peoples “stuff” and I have no control over it. Let grown folks be grown folks.
Bask in your light as well as others: When people, especially other woman, are doing something magical and amazing, uplift them, congratulate them, be inspired by them. Also, don’t downplay your fabulousness or dim your light (which I found out I did from a close friend). Give yourself props, know how magical you are, own it, and be proud!
Mediate: Often, we think mediation is suppose to look a certain way and last a certain amount of time which is a myth. Mediation is about quieting your mind, finding your center, and attracting positive energy. In a nutshell, recharging you mental, spiritual sometime physical battery. Whether you mediate at home, at your desk at work, in your car, wherever you can find a quiet place will work. A close friend of mine who is also a Psychotherapist mention that if it is difficult for you to concentrate or focus, use Guided Imaginary. Guided Imagery meditation is a gentle but powerful technique that focuses and directs the imagination in proactive, positive ways.
Live in the moment: Time is not also on our side and its about the here and now that counts. Make memories, focus on love, enjoy the people and times that mean the most. The past cannot be changed and tomorrow is not promised. The only moment which is under the influence of your control is the present moment. Rest in the now and see how beautiful life is.
You are not in control so stop it!: People who deeply realize this truth of life, live in surrender to what is. They don’t try to predict the future, they just make some practical plans and leave the rest to destiny. The more you try to control, the more you will suffer. Worrying serves no purpose at all except to make you feel ill and uneasy. Let it be.
Don’t Pray and Worry: You cannot ask the most high to do something and then be inpatient and not allow it to be done. Pray over it and allow it to be worked on. It may not happen in your timeframe but it will happen on time.
This is definitely going to be a uphill battle at times for I am a work in progress but I am up for the challenge.