Often times, we find ourselves in a storm that we cannot seem to get out of. When we try to take a step forward, we take 5 steps back. We all go through our storms (sometimes tornados and hurricanes) but it is what you do during and afterwards that is going to make a big difference.
I had to have a talk one of my loved ones this weekend, someone who has had an influence throughout my life. He has always been the strong type, never liked for others to see him hurt. Yet, when you go through a storm, you cannot allow you feelings, fear, and pain build up. You have to allow it to come out, you have to allow your heart to break. I think people have this perception, especially men, that if you cry or show any emotion, you would be consider weak. That could not be further from the truth. Before you are man or woman, you are HUMAN and as human’s, God has allowed us to feel for a reason. Good, so that we know the feeling of it, pain/hurt so we can learn from it and know how to handle it if that feel came again. Joy and happiness so we learn how to hold on to it and/or create it. Also, some try to self medicate to ease the pain or the void. Whether it is with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc. to get a temporary fix. Yet, we need to know and understand that it is just that, temporary. When its all said and done, you feel worst than what you felt like before you tried to self medicate. Then you have to deal with more symptoms, more heartache, and sometimes addiction which that is a huge storm within itself.
What I told my loved one is that he has to keep working and not to give up. Instead of focusing and what has happened in his storm, he needed to focus on how far he has come from the eye of it. See, a year ago, we almost lost him. His health was very grave and we were not sure what to expect. Yet, God said he still has work to do on earth and has made so much progress and is doing amazing things. Yet, he gets frustrated and depressed because the progress isn’t where he wants it to be. Sometimes, we want things to happen and we want them to happen now. However, we need to understand that everything happens on time, not our time. We must be patient with ourselves and our path in life. Trust the process and progress that is planned for your life.
I also told him to make goals for what he wants to accomplish and find meaning in the little things. I told him he has come too far to quit and his support system nor God will allow him to. I also told him that it was already written as far as what he will have to and will go through but he has a place in his storm and he must work through it and that means as Miss Iyanla Vanzant also says, “Do your work!” You cannot control what others have done, how they did it and what they will or won’t do, you must focus on the work you need to do for yourself. Take care of your body inside and out and smile every chance you get. Love yourself like you have never been hurt or like no one has ever hurt you. I told him that the work is going to be the hardest thing that he will ever do in his entire life but think about what the end result will be.
I am so proud of him and as much I spoke to him to give him comfort, little did he know, he was giving me comfort. I vow to be apart of his journey to continue to fight for his life while I continue to heal mine. I love you UJ 🙂