Matters Of The Heart

14370301_531563633716734_3032708532903654847_nHeartache and heartbreak is something that a lot of us have experiences in our lifetime, some more than others. What if I told you that the more you focus on that pain, the more it can effect your health? At a time when you needed someone the most, you were crush and had to hear the “I told you so’s”, and “Everything happens for a reason”. You know that everything happens for a reason but when your in the thick of it, you don’t see it that way. You are left with a broken heart, hurt feelings and many questions that you will probably never get truthful answers to. You go through so many emotions and your body feels as if it had been hit by a bus. As far as how you feel about the person(s) that hurt you, you hope they feel just as much pain as you feel right now but 3 times worst. You even may wish the worst on them and everything that they care about. Then you go through what it states in the picture above in your head over and over again, then you start to question your decision making and why is this happening.

I have been there, big time. I focused so much on that pain for a while that it was difficult for me to speak with others or focus on simple task. It was difficult for me to sleep at night because I was afraid I would have dreams that brought me back to past moments or my body wouldn’t allow me to sleep. I remember going out to dinner and a memory would trigger in my mind and I would instantly break into tears. I would go days without eating or exercising, falling into a deep depression and despair. There was no glory in that story at all.

It is said “Time heals all wounds” which is very true. You must give yourself time to go through the process, just don’t stay down too long. To stay in your pain is not healthy nor will it benefit you or others around you. Find way to let it all go and keep in mind that it does get easier. Pray, exercise (kickboxing works wonders), mediate, what ever you must do to let it out. I also wrote a letter to everything I wanted to say to the people that ever hurt me, made a fire and burned it. For me, it was a way of releasing all of my pain and giving it to the universe.

An end of a situation is similar to a death, you go through the 7 stages of grief : Disbelief, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Guilt, Depression, Acceptance/Hope. You will know when you hit the acceptance/hope stage, for that statement above will disappear because it is no longer about the person(s) that hurt you or the hurt itself, its about your happiness and what is ahead. You also will realize like I have, the Universe has a way of setting things right and for those that hurt others especially intentionally, will feel some hurt in some form or fashion. I have also been there as well. Without getting into details, the grass is not always greener on the other side, its just fake ass grass that sits on dead ass grass. You will eventually forgive the ones that have hurt you and forgive yourself and once you do that, the feeling and the word love will take on a whole new meaning. For every heartbreak, the amount of real love will be given to you 10 fold. You just have to be ready to accept it and know when it is real. Be patient with yourself, take your time, and make sure you have that unconditional love for yourself first.

 

Be Well,

Essence

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