I have the pleasure to have the Co-Creator of Crown Lens Media Group, which has developed shows like “Reminisce Over You”, and “Candy Fresh”. Not to mention the awesome partner of “Protect Your Crown”, as well as the host of the upcoming radio show on KFAI 90.3/106.7 FM in Minneapolis, MN entitled “Crowned Sound”. He is also a Photographer, a Videographer, and one of my dearest friends Mr. Aaron Price. Thank you for this piece.
Worried About Stress, Stressed about Worry..
The biggest fear in my life has always been FAILURE. Not death, not heartbreak, but failure. Failure to achieve goals, to live up to my standards and others views of me. Probably the wrong way to approach life, but I’ve been stuck in these ways for many years. My parents have always had high expectations of me, considered that I’ve excelled in most of the things I’ve associated myself with. I’ve always done well in school, sports, and art. I’m very passionate when it comes to these various subjects, so excelling seems to come very easy to me. The moment I feel an inkling of doubt, anxiety comes knocking at my door like an uninvited guest. What do I do in that circumstance? I let anxiety walk right in my door and the rest is infamy. My anxiety has caused me more stress than any exam or performance I’ve ever had. Sh*t, I’m stressed right now writing this column just because of the thought that it will not be good enough for the readers. This has always been my “kryptonite”; that my downfall may be my own doing.
It’s true, that your greatest enemy will be the person in the mirror. I’ve fought against this person for decades and that fight continues. I work in the filming business, entertainment industry in a sense, where people are constantly nitpicking and critiquing each other like everyone is Siskel and Ebert. I find myself hoping for “two thumbs up” for everything I do. As a scholar, I study everything I work on, background knowledge of the subject matter, definitions of certain terms and phrases; I mean I got this down to a science. Even through all the studies, nothing is ever a sure thing in entertainment, let alone, life. You see, I am what is known as an “extroverted introvert”, the type of person who is willing to go out and have a good time, but would rather stay at home watching sports or old Martin reruns. So anxiety follows me in everything I do, simply because my job as a videographer has me out everywhere, and nine times out of ten, I’d rather not be there. That’s no disrespect to those I’ve worked with, it’s just who I am. I get nervous very quickly, and I have defense mechanisms (that I will not go into) that keep me sane through all of the insanity.
Another thing that adds to the fun of anxiety (and I’m being sarcastic when I say “fun”) is that I also work a full time job for our US Treasury. It’s like I never sleep, never rest, never nap, so my body is extremely stressed with my mind stressed because I’m anxious all the time. Talk about mental health, right? I’ve found ways to combat the anxiety and stress in small doses. I count to ten and take three deep breaths (sometimes more depending on the situation) before I approach any show or project, which can be a small thing to help my problems. Sometimes, I’ll take trips out of the country, where nobody can reach me, just to clear my mind; recharge my spirit. I’ve found isolation has been the best medicine for these circumstances. It’s almost like meditation, the way it helps with the mind. Music is medicinal as well, in which I listen to instrumentals or classical music to soothe the brain. These are just my tricks of the trade; hopefully it’ll help others in my field of work if they deal with extreme anxiety.
I never once thought of taking actual medicine for my ills, for I choose to not accept the possibility of becoming addicted to it. My choice has always been natural. I’ll keep fighting the person in the mirror until they decide it’s time to give up. So next time you see me, just know I’m fighting a battle that only I can fight, and that I will win at all costs. THE CHAMP IS HERE! So even though I worry about being stressed, and I’m stressed about being worried, I refuse to lose this fight for my life.
Aaron Price-Crown Lens Media Group