This is Personal

In honor of Suicide Awareness Month, I just want to speak (type) from the heart (freestyle words unspoken)

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I remember when I got the news, the news of something I couldn’t wrap my head around.

The news that you, my family, my little cousin had jumped off a bridge, and my heart hit the ground

What could you possibly have been going through your mind at the time, what kind of pain could you have been feeling?

reeling… my head has constantly done since that day although its been 6 years.

Exactly 13 years to the day lost our grandfather, now you. True, people were cruel, mean, and unworthy of your time and love

yet and still love is what you continued to show to everyone that was ever was blessed with your presence

beauty was the essence of your being and existence.

20 years old, full of life, strived to be better than you were before. Now, no more laughs, smiles, just silence and questions.

Questions like should we have talked more? Could I have done more? Why wasn’t someone there more? Why didn’t anyone see the red flags more? WHY?

As if things couldn’t get any worst, the worst was yet to come. Another part of my family, found in the slum of the river, my older cousin was found,

had been missing for months and a person found him for he had drowned. My cousin who was like a brother, always looking after me yet teasing me when I was younger,

I wonder what you were feeling, was the healing not coming fast enough for you? If I knew this would happened, we would have talked more, hung out more.

I could have protected you from those who claimed to love, honor, and cherished you but instead took advantage and left you when you needed love the most. Now, 6 kids are without a father, a sister without a brother, a mother without her only son.

Thinking of the both of you, I don’t focus on how you left us, but how you lived and loved us

We must and will continue to keep your legacy alive, for I am dedicated to making change and getting the conversation started about some of the things you may have gone through

for of you I ask that you continue being my angels and help me along with God to guide me in helping others so no one will have to suffer or wonder why.

I love you and thankful for the time that time that was given, and the laughter that was shared.

Know that Protect Your Crown is dedicated to you,

RIH Ari and Dre

 

Day in and day out, we hear about people, young and old, taking their lives. Whether its depression, PTSD, substance abuse, bulling, “coming out” to family them showing no support and not feeling accepted or simply feeling alone. We NEED to pay attention and we need to recognize when something is wrong. It cannot just be prayed away, it can not be ignored, mental illness, mental disorder and suicide IS REAL and is happening much closer than you think. We can no longer wait or pretend things are not happening, we can no longer allow our loved ones to suffer in silence.

If you observe or you yourself have the following warning signs:

  • Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself
  • Looking for ways to kill oneself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means
  • Talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person
  • Feeling hopeless
  • Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge
  • Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities – seemingly without thinking
  • Feeling trapped – like there’s no way out
  • Increasing alcohol or drug use
  • Withdrawing from friends, family, and society
  • Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep or sleeping all the time
  • Experiencing dramatic mood changes
  • Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life

 

PLEASE CALL the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number

  • 1-800-273-8255

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