My mother has always told me to be a better person, surround yourself with others that are like you. I didn’t quite understand what that meant until I was older. Growing up, I moved around quite a bit and I felt in order to be happy, I had to be accepted and liked by everyone. After being let down, abandon, judged, and disrespected, I realized everyone is not and cannot be your friend. First off, your best friend must be you, yourself, and I (aside from God). Outside of that, we are in a time where if people friend each other on Facebook, hang out a hand full of times, or have a few drinks with a person in a social setting, you have a friendship with a person. Yet, from a mental health standpoint, when you are in your darkest day(s) and you really need someone you can trust, confide in, or need a shoulder to cry on, that “friend” is no where in sight or when you call they refer you to voicemail. Or a lot of us hold on to toxic friendships for so long that it begins to change us and the way we think. That also pushes away positive things that may be trying to happen in your life. Do not block your blessing! We must select people to hold the title “Friend” appropriately and know the difference between a friendship and an associateship (yes, I know, not a word). Now with that said, you also have to be an effective friend as well. A lot of us have high expectations of our friends but we don’t do our share. There has to be a balance in order to be effective.
To me, a friendship is someone I not only have a positive connection but who has positive energy about them. Someone who loves themselves as well as go out of their way to be kind to others even in the smallest of gestures. Someone who is going to be encouraging, trustworthy and honest even when I may not want to hear it. A friend is someone who is not going to watch you struggle but go through the struggle with you. A true friendship grows with you and no matter how much time has past, you still know how important that friendship is. A true friend knows and understands that they play a huge role in your growth and are a huge part of your support system without being told. They are just as close as family if not closer, they are going to do what they can to make situations and adventures in life a little smoother. Having true friendship is therapeutic to your spirit because they see you for who you are and no matter what, they are just fine with that. They are in a weird way, a representation of you. They represent your choices of who you choose to allow in your space, who you chose to give your energy, who you choose to take with you in your steps through life. They usually will know things about you that know one else does. They are bettering their life as well as your own and your friendship can set the example for others that may see it. Whether you have one friend or a dozen friends, keep in mind its not about quantity, its about quality.